Tag Archive for: mental well-being

Navigating Our New Normal

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As we navigate COVID-19 and what our new ‘normal’ will be, there are a few things that come top of mind. Part one of this two blog post series is about our ‘new normal’. Our primary focus is: self-kindness and self-awareness are the roots of managing stressors with positivity.

How we act in response to where we are at with self-kindness and self-awareness can determine our results and outcomes with both professional and personal relationships.

We Are Out of Our Element: Self-Kindness is Key

For some of us, work has stopped completely, or maybe slowed to a ‘work what you can’ from home schedule, to working in a totally changed environment that can be downright scary to some.

Sidebar, thank you to all front line professionals: we see you, we love you, we are grateful for what you are doing for everyone.

In some situations, it is not top of mind that living in this industrial world has conditioned us to have, generally speaking ‘high’ expectations of outcomes and productivity regardless of our environment.

Self-kindness is key more so now than ever before. Self-kindness can take many forms but what I’m talking about is self-kindness first to ourselves. How can we give to our teams, our spouses or our children if we are spinning ourselves?

Now, we must let go of any predetermined notion of what we anticipated accomplishing in the next month, three months, six months and maybe even a year. I am not saying give up on our goals but immediate results and response is the adjustment needed. It’s tough and we are all living it, but just think about how much space and energy we free up for ourselves if we let go of previous expectations of outcomes and all that self-pressure.

These question may be of value in assessing whether realignment with self-kindness is needed:

  • How are my current self-expectations impacting me?
  • Do I have current beliefs of outcomes that are holding me back?
  • What am I doing, right now, to ensure I am kind to myself?

Figuring out how much is in our way or weighing us down is a powerful form of self-kindness and discovery. Minimally, ensuring that we are taken care of through self-care (exercise, sleep, nutritious food and anything else that is a positive change) can allow us to have space for those important things like pivoting, realigning and innovating.

Now is the Time to Elevate our Self-Awareness

Did you know that Emotional Quotient (EQ) is a leading indicator of whether you are a successful leader? Studies have shown that over 87% of leaders who engage with and look to positively impact their teams (servant leaders) have higher levels of EQ and most importantly self-awareness.

So what is self-awareness? In short, self-awareness is the ability to understand in the moment how situations trigger and impact you along with your external responses and how to align your actions with your values. Although many leaders (and individuals) believe they are self-aware only 10-15% studied have been deemed self-aware. Self-awareness is a small proponent but largely important in the grand scheme of emotional intelligence.

Unlike Intelligence Quotient (IQ), EQ can be strengthened, just like focusing on a core group of muscles for strength and endurance.

So how do you start? By doing an EQ assessment(s) for your baseline and looking for candid and honest feedback from individuals you trust. Then you can understand your blind spots and where you want to focus for growth. It is only upon repetition that we can shift our habits and actions.

These questions may be of value:

  • What would you want to discover more about your emotional quotient (EQ)?
  • If you were to discover your EQ how do you think it would impact your professional/personal life?
  • What areas of EQ do you want to learn more about to elevate your professional/personal growth?

A Habit for Mindless Distractions

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I’m in the middle of creating a PowerPoint for an upcoming presentation and my younger sister calls.

I pull myself away to answer the phone, but that only lasts momentarily, before I begin checking my emails. Splitting my attention, between our conversation and emails without even noticing.

I close my emails and pull myself back into the conversation. Although again only minutes later I find myself browsing the web!! Has this ever happened to you? Engaging in mindless distractions when you should be focused on one? Multitasking, while on the phone.

Scrolling through Instagram, during a webinar. Answering a text, while mid-conversation with someone. That last one really ticks me off. But it’s no better than checking my emails while on the phone with my sister. And it’s not that our conversation wasn’t interesting. But these days I’ve noticed myself dividing my focus between activities.

Why has it become so difficult to stay concentrated on one thing at a time?

Mindless Distractions

As great as it’s been growing up in the digital age, it does have its drawbacks. Technology has created expectations to respond at all times of the day and made it easy to let small things pass us by.

The era of sharing everything has connected the world like never before through Instagram, YouTube and Facebook. But living in a fast-paced online environment, we’re continually trying to catch up, because it keeps evolving.

The devices in our pockets have provided a network for relentless distraction and stimulation. Forming larger barriers to social interaction, than the connections they were created to make.

The exponential growth of technology has made us less social than more, no matter how many Facebook friends you might have.

These pressures have had adverse consequences on our health. With only so many big milestones to celebrate, what happens when you forget to relish the small wins?

Millennials, in particular, are suffering from depression and anxiety at a greater ratio than any other generation due to perfectionist pressures. Always striving to become better has made burnout and stress-related issues a norm.

When your automatic choices begin to be detrimental to your health and happiness, you can longer rely on them. Isolated and alone, it’s easier to resort to mindless distractions than look around and engage in a conversation with a stranger.

Developing a habit of spending unconscious time on mindless distractions has created a need for more conscious living.

Ah!! But what can we do?

In a connected society, we have to be intentional with the time we spend on distractions. Learning to become present with what we’re doing in the moment. Technology is not a bad thing when used properly. Avoiding splitting your attention by focusing on one thing.

For example,

Paying attention and contributing to the online meeting you’re in. Actively listening to the conversation you’re having – in person or on the phone. Working on one task at a time and completing it, before moving onto the next. Become self-aware when you engage in mindless distractions and look towards dedicating conscious time to what you’re doing.

Self-Awareness Strategies

Here are 4 techniques that you can implement to practice avoiding mindless distractions:

  1. Meditate: Learn to let your thoughts come and go rather than suffocate your mind. Begin with something as short as a couple minutes of deep breathing.
  2. Pomodoro Technique: Use this productivity hack to increase your focus on a task. Blocking outside distractions will raise your awareness and productivity drastically.
  3. Practice Gratitude: Place a journal or piece of paper next to your bed and write down 3 things you’re grateful for each day. Use it as a reminder to stop and enjoy the small joys in your day.
  4. High-Intensity Exercise: When your heart rate is beating at 80% capacity; it’s difficult to focus on anything but the exercise you are doing.

Habit Challenge

Do you find yourself engaging in mindless distractions out of habit, rather than a conscious choice?

If you always reach for your phone when you stand in line, what would happen if you stopped yourself and just stood in line?

Try and leave your phone in a drawer, when you’re working on a task. Close down your computer when talking on the phone. Eat lunch away from your desk and socialize with others in your household/office.

Or use one of the 4 strategies above to create more self-awareness.

Whatever you choose, the goal is to develop greater awareness around the habit for mindless distractions. Don’t look to change anything at first but rather discover how frequently it occurs and go from there.

How Daily Tracking Can Help You Reach Your Goals

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If you begin tracking your daily routines or habits, you’ll begin to find some flaws in your memory. You might not be eating as healthy, burning as many calories on your runs or being as productive with your time at work as you think you are.

Our brains aren’t developed to store information, but rather be inventive and creative. That’s why tracking is more reliable, but you may be surprised at what you will find.

Why Should You Think About Daily Tracking?

Effective tracking can provide a better success rate in creating new habits, increase your productivity and hold you accountable. Tracking your actions will provide clear performance results. It will keep you honest by increasing your self-awareness and provide motivation through a chain of successful days, weeks or even months.

In the past, meditation was always a difficult habit for me to develop. Every time I’d start I would do well at first, and then my practice would fall apart. I had my excuses; not enough time, I forgot, or I thought I was meditating more often than I was – until my Insight Timer app would display a “two-day streak.” I struggled to make meditation a daily practice.

I only became successful after I started tracking my results and tying meditation to an existing habit. After my morning shower, I’d take 10 minutes to meditate and then check it off my list. I tracked every day I meditated, and the odd days I missed. After I had completed a week in a row, I became more motivated to keep the practice going. Every day, I’d take my morning shower and then head to the same spot in my condo, sit down and meditate. Through tracking and attaching it to one of my daily habits, it was easier to make meditating a regular practice.

The Dark Side of Tracking

Tracking can have a positive effect in achieving your goals, although negative consequences can occur– when tracking becomes too much.

Recently, a friend showed me his habit tracker and all of the activities he regularly completes – getting up early, stretching, doing push-ups/plank every morning. He proudly revealed his meditation app indicating 107 days in a row! I was impressed.

He went on to tell me a story about how on Day 79, after meditating on the plane, his streak reset to zero due to a time zone change. Understandably, he became upset and ended up contacting the app to update his streak.

This is where I realized the negative side effects of tracking. When crossing off your task becomes more important than the benefits of the activity, you might want to stop and re-evaluate.

If you find yourself falling down this path, miss a day on purpose.

The point of creating a habit isn’t to create the winning streak of the century! It’s to benefit from creating a long-term habit by using tracking to assist you. Be aware if your competitive nature might be getting the best of you.

There are many more apps you can use, find one that works best for you. Or you can play it old school and keep track of your activities via pen & paper or on a calendar. However, an app provides better accessibility, and you can even set daily reminders!

Habit Challenge

If you have doubts about tracking, just try it – what do you have to lose?

Identify a few specific habits, that contribute to your performance at work and well-being. Spend a week tracking how many times you go to the gym, what you eat or how often you perform a bad or good habit. If you forget or miss a day, let it go, and pick it up the next day. Create consistency and avoid missing twice in a row.

If you take on too much it’ll be difficult to do it over the long term, so start slow.

Determine your WHY by asking yourself what is motivating you to improve this area of your life? Use this as a reminder during times of struggle or distress. Understanding why you are doing something will help you stay motivated to make the activity a habit.

Take action today and pick one specific habit or daily action that you already do or want to start and begin tracking it regularly. Post your commitment in the comments below and I’ll follow up to hold you accountable 🙂